It's the Trees That Make the Horizon

and it's the contrast that makes it worth looking at.

like polaroids.

or sunsets.
or is that because of the colors?

i'm not there.

i have tried, i really have...

often, when people find out i follow soccer they say "oh, who do you like?"
i reply..."MAN U!"
they go like this: -_-
which is natural, i guess...EVERYBODY likes united.
theyre the most successful team in football history...theyre the yankees of soccer. or the canadiens(more recently the red wings).
why don't i like Chelsea? or Liverpool? or Arsenal? why's it have to be in premier league? why don't i like AC Milan or Barcelona?
ive really tried. i don't like being in the majority. being part of the crowd that is so graciously full of so-so fans. people who like a team because of the majesty of the name.
i'm an ocean away from any of these teams. so theoretically, i could choose any team in any league and follow them.
as soon as i see that liverpool shirt on the kid walking by me though...my lip curls as if i just saw a philadelphia flyers jersey.
i just can not like chelsea or arsenal, though ive tried. ive tried to derail my fanship from the most popular sports team in the world.

ive come close, though Tottenham is ruining my life now and better get their butts in gear...they shelled out that cash for Pavyulchenko and he better start producing.

but ManUtd is still my number one.

to the delight of the Jonczaks, of course.


something about them, i guess...

A Tragedy, Really

Yesterday, keyboardist Richard Wright, of Pink Floyd, died of cancer at 65.

Said David Gilmour:

“No one can replace Richard Wright. He was my musical partner and my friend. In the welter of arguments about who or what was Pink Floyd, Rick's enormous input was frequently forgotten. He was gentle, unassuming and private but his soulful voice and playing were vital, magical components of our most recognized Pink Floyd sound.” He later adds, “Like Rick, I don't find it easy to express my feelings in words, but I loved him and will miss him enormously.”

This is a huge deal in music...

he was never at the forefront of the band, but some of the songs he wrote for Floyd include Great Gig in the Sky and Us and Them. the man was a genius.

don't stop here, keep reading.

i've been reluctant to post anything new because i feel like once i do, the old ones pass by unnoticed and forever forgotten.

but the problem is, ive just been getting used to unloading the contents of my mind into virtual space...you know...so my brain doesn't get clogged up or anything.
trying not to post has just clogged my brain with things so i decided to stop.

just promise you won't forget the stuff i wrote before :(
i speak mainly to me.


________________________________________

so here we are.
i thought of typing my favorite part of this entry out...but i realized it steals away the aesthetic value of the night i created it.

this is why i enjoyed the journal so much, i think.
it wasn't just writing out what was in my brain on any given night. it was more. it was showing EXACTLY how i felt. whether or not anyone else can manage to work out everything each entry says, i'll never know. but i can. and thats why i do it. thats why i do this. whatev.



never forget.

[untitled]

walking along a cobblestone path
in the outreach of my mind
I stumbled across a calm and shallow brook
which one could only discern carried memories.
And fish. probably a few of those as well.
I followed it to a willow tree
that I assessed to be as old as me
so I sat beneath it for shade.
there, the ghost of my life as it were
appeared amidst the branches
staring in awe of my life as it is.
it was dark but the moon shone brightly
and in the pale light i may have shaken my head in disgust
more than likely, it was only my imagination.
what did he know anyway?
So I excused myself.
and thanked him for his company.

Irony: The True Story

sometimes i feel like when i post two blogs near the same time, the first one gets kinda ignored. brushed away. like no one pays attention to it...

so im gonna write first, the one i dont wanna dwell on.

irony.

so how bout this:
i have a class.
Japanese Culture Through Cinema. great class. terrible teacher. its all irrelevant, anyway.
Our teacher kinda worked under this other teacher, Keiko McDonald. i mean, come on, she freakin wrote our textbook. (which seems to be the case a lot at Pitt. pitt professors writing our textbooks)... she's a big deal.
this week, we watched a movie, Madadayo. good movie. slow plot, but good nonetheless.

it dealt mainly with the themes of the student/teacher relationship and the acceptance of fate and ultimately death.
we read a whole chapter Keiko wrote on this film and its themes.

we also found out that Keiko died yesterday.



weird? yes. ironic? more so. i literally read the words she wrote on accepting death as a natural part of life HOURS after she had passed away.


and now, finishing this, im forced to look up at the piece which i suppose i call "Life" from my 4x4 project, pinned on my bulletin board. more irony, i think.

We Are the Mods

we are the mods, we are the mods, we are, we are, we are the mods.
we are the mods, we are the mods, we are, we are, we are the mods.
we are the mods, we are the mods, we are, we are, we are the mods.
we are the mods, we are the mods, we are, we are, we are the mods.

A Philosopher's Mind? and more.

another journal entry.





and i guess another one.




i like those ones

undefined.

im not crazy
im not crazy
im not crazy
im not crazy
im not crazy
im not crazy
im not crazy
im not crazy
crazy
insane
creative
what is crazy but creativity to the greatest extent?
im not creative.

Big Brother Watches Me

google maps is awesome. its mesmerizing. its fantastic.
things to note:
the Cathedral of Learning has a dark, luminous cloud above it, when you look at it from street view.
the numbers at CMU are just as amazing from above as they are from inside them.
our house hadn't been sided yet.
gas prices were once below $3.

how did they take those street pictures?

nostalgia?

making that last post made me go back and look at all of them. i loved them. no matter what i did that night, i always found time to do it. even when i worked till 2am. ive tried here, but i couldnt do it. not with all the studying and homework. maybe i should try again. maybe ill post some more someday.

try again?

before i threw chairs pt. II.
excellent, it works...i did a journal in MS Paint.
my only guidelines: one a day, each with a different font. limited to the tools in Paint, and the canvas size remains constant. other than that, free reign.







only 5 this time.
i never meant for people to see these, but apparently im okay with it. whatev.

Lucia di Lammermoor

yeah yeah, i know its science fiction and i know its an alien singing.
doesn't make it any less INCREDIBLE.

the voice behind the character is Inva Mula, performing the "mad scene" from Donizetti's Lucia di Lammermoor, in addition to the Diva Dance, which was made for the film.

GET THIS. APPARENTLYYYY...her voice WAS NOT DIGITALLY ALTERED throughout the performance. im not sure about during the diva dance. that seems like too much, but they did say even though it sounds beyond physical possibility, its not digitally altered at all. idk...



shocking.

led zeppelin live

sometimes i purposely brush across bushes at the side of the sidewalk just to see what they feel like...

sometimes when a sprinkler is spraying over a sidewalk i pretend to avoid it, secretly hoping i get a little wet.

i also really like the feeling you get the second you get on or off an escalator...kinda like weightlessness, except horizontal, rather than vertical.

sometimes i watch led zeppelin live, and its great by the way.

sometimes i walk to the beat of the music playing on my iPod. (or half beat...some songs are very fast)
every other time i walk to the beat of the music in my head.

i watched the wall the other night on vh1. they cut A LOT out. but it was still fantastic.


prem prakash is crazy.

Joni Violet

she lives here:


its a summer home.

save me.

work.
work work work.
workworkworkworkworkworkworkwokrworkwokr.
workworkwowkrworkwrowrowwkowrkowrkworworkwrkworwrk.
work.rowk. rock.rockw. wrowkc. rawk. raw. rawrock.
raw rock.
kills.

finished the reading i had to do.
now i guess i should just...work.

idk. whatev.

we're tryin...

Dictate
What you think is pivotal
Mandate
Just for the sake of
Ego
Controlling your decision making
The world we're missing is still ours for the taking

Accelerate
Into isolation
Gravitate
To comfort, presentation
Anxiety laden, restless confusion
No courage, no confidence, absent delusion

Most of us would be lying
Holding fast to denying
If we
Said we're all feeling swell and content
All of us would be slipping
Backpedaling, gripping
So tight
To our fragile confidence

We're trying
Just to convince
The world we're
Something
That we can't be
We are not
Afraid of
Being alone
Of being caught
By oursselves
With only
Our own thoughts

Activate
With hope and integrity
Honesty
The only true currency
Devastate
The guilt, not the guilty
And I promise a better night's sleep




andrew schwab. blows my mind.

sea creatures and the ocean

i dont like to visit the ocean.
but i do like to think about it.

staying in balance

sometimes my favorite thing in the world is lifting my feet off the floor while sitting on a pivoting chair....just to see if the floor is slightly uneven.

or is it the chair that is uneven?

i wonder if people on pivoting chairs always point north?



theres a pick in my mouth.
1.14mm



won't you be my neighbor?

snails attack.

Mars Attacks
If you havent seen it, i more than recommend it. its great.




the point is this.

i had a dream last night. about giant eagle. you see, me and a few roommates were at giant eagle, doin some shopping. when i went to the register to check out my food, i used a debit card which alerted the cashier that my bank account was in fact over $600 overdrawn. i said this was impossible, i had just checked my account. but apparently it was the case, but as i tried to use the automated telephone banking PNC so graciously offers, my fingers wouldnt really dial what i wanted. giving up, i went out into the area some giant eagles have between the outside sliding doors and the sliding doors to get into the store. like a lobby. but with pop machines instead of couches.
anyway. i packed up my stuff in the lobby (i guess we had planned on sleeping there?) and took it to the car. a jeep. a jeep wrangler. yes, 3 of us, fit in the jeep, with all our gear and groceries. realizing i forgot my bass, along with two other guitars and amps, i went back to collect them, only to discover that an entire group of kids had taken our sleeping quarters for their sleepover. at giant eagle.
i retrieved my equipment and went back out to the car where my roommate was driving wildly all over the parking lot. he stopped to pick me up but before i could get in, he sped off up the hill and around the store, to be chased by 4 or 5 maniacal teens on bicycles and dirtbikes. he stopped and spun around and fled back down the hill and i realized the jeep was an ATV. he flew up the steep hill that had once been the giant eagle entrance and dust and debris surrounded us as he pumped the throttle to get the machine up such an incline. the teens couldnt keep up and he soon stopped dead in front of me to pick me up in the jeep. i packed the music into the jeep (somehow) and was prepared to jump in when a spaceship? <-it looked like a cone shape, but more polygonal...appeared in the sky, only to be blown up. uh oh.
the teens cheered.
i dont remember another one landing, but i do remember a giant snail being in the parking lot. and i remember knowing where it came from. the teens stared at it for awhile and two more snails stepped out from behind the first. not stepped but whatever.
they looked at the teens. then in an instant, long probosces shot out from the snails and consumed the teens. i very quickly hopped in the jeep and off we went.
we went to our house, here in oakland, but apparently our house in oakland is a skyscraper. i dont remember going into the house or the trip to the house for that matter, but i do remember being in my room looking down the long column of windows that was our home. i also remember dozens of 12 foot tall giant pink snails sliming their way up those windows.
i was scared.
my roommate decided to chill in our room, i moved to the next room over, which didnt have outside windows. oddly enough, it DID have a glass window that saw into my room. so after checking the next room after that, which was the other side of the house, and seeing a long proboscis slither into the open window, i slammed the door, went back into the middle room and locked the door behind me.
then i went to the interior (glass) window where i saw another proboscis lean up against the window, break through, and consume my roommate. i slid down with my back to the wall to a seated position, feeling not so much fear, but just willing to wait it out. content. i probably got restless because then i woke up.

warning: not for you.

Plato once said: (for real this time)

"[something] is not being seen because it is a thing seen but on the contrary it is a thing seen because it is being seen; nor is it because it is being led that it is being led but because it is being led that it is something led; nor is something being carried because it is something carried, but it is something carried because it is being carried."

i used the whole quote because i think its important to realize that this concept applies almost universally. in fact, its not the entire quote. plato also explains that something changed is not changed because it is something changed, but rather something is changed because it is changed. he also states that something loved is something loved, not because it is something loved, but because it is loved.

it might seem kinda overwhelming at first, but think about it. something is not loved because it is something loved, but because it is loved by something.

so i wonder if we are who we are because we are who we are, or if we are who we are because we were made who we are.

nature vs. nurture?


i ponder.









ps. i apologize if that bored you or made your head hurt. no i dont apologize. its not like i didnt warn you.
curiosity

maybe ill visit

i was looking at my myspace blog which i've regretfully neglected (although with notice) in favor of this location here. i came across this.



i love that picture. maybe because it was a mistake. so mistakes are loved too, eh?

i would. sorry.

who would even publish something like that???

little things turning big

i already have a feeling that this post will not be substantial.

what i mean by that is that i doubt someone who decides to read it will finish reading feeling fulfilled or satisfied with the content they have just read. in fact, i have a feeling that maybe, after reading this post, anyone who reads my blog in general will be discouraged enough to never read my blog again. IN FACT. they may even be discouraged with the general decline in intelligent information posted on the internet due to the rise in availability and ease with which information can actually be posted for potentially free access to billions of people across the globe, to the point where they may actually never again access the internet and even protest the commercialization and the aforementioned availability of the internet, pleading government to amend the 1st amendment to exclude internet posting and to regulate private sites and blogs. it may happen.

now. the post.


charlotte is sitting beside me on the couch. metalocalypse comes on soon.
morning.

speaking of africa

Lion
Elephant
Hyena
Wildebeest
Zebra
Jaguar
Dreamland




morning.

i'll tell you i'll tell you

i would do anything to live on elm street.

for one day.
maybe twelve.

eternity isn't that long, anyway.
i'll tell you, i'll tell you.
illtllyu

if i could write in barcodes i would.

plato once said, i have a dream
or was that someone more recent?

im sure plato said it too.

here's a link to zebras. push me they are generally social animals.
i typed out the address from memory. its that important.


good morning.

contest ends when i reveal too much

but which one?

i like viewing old sites radiohead made.
they are labrynths.

im convinced i will never see each page.

i like to get lost in them sometimes. most times.


here's one now.
goodnight.

these are some things.

i like school. its only been 4 days though. monotony has not set in.

thom yorke is a mess. but that doesn't mean he's not a genius.

we have books on him here. ill read one, one day. learn how to be like him. him and jim m. we have more books on jim. ill read all of those, one day.

it rained this morning. it rained again this afternoon.


here's a picture though.



i will give you $100 if you can give me specific instructions, beginning from a blank browser, on how to locate this image in its natural context. seriously, $100.
contest ends at one point in time. but not the other.

here's another look.



goodnight.

the best things in the world

are FREE

i got my second free grandpa's guitar the other day.

although its plug in...so its kinda like a young grandpa's guitar

i like it.
the action is high, but only about half as high as my other one...he's worn out.

i dont really play guitar.
i know some chords.
bass is better

idc


in the meantime, the USA is crushing France at fencing...didnt france like invent fencing? whats up france. freedom rules.

oh, rock.

Seven Ages of Rock. great special. its on vh1 classic.

but it made me realize something.
lets take a step back in time...

the who. wanted to have a more raw sound to their music. they distorted their guitars and molded rock as we know it.
rock got commercialized and glamourized. gag.

the ramones and the sex pistols. realized rock got commercialized and glamourized and went back to the basics. they made their music even more raw and distorted than rock. punk was born.
punk got commercialized. gag.

ozzy. went a step further. sabbath went back to the basics, made rock deep, dark, and a little scary. metal was born.
metal got commercialized and VERY. VERY glam. gag.

from this point take whatever direction you want. thrash metal led by metallica, slayer, megadeth, etc. or american hardcore, led by black flag, bad brains, and minor threat.
whichever direction, each took it a step towards the extreme, going far beyond black sabbath, deep purple, judas priest...all those metal bands. and CERTAINLY beyond the glamourized metal of def leppard, kiss, etc.

these days, hardcore goes further, sometimes blurring the lines between metal and hardcore punk. normally i equate the extremes of modern music to be like norma jean or the chariot.

which brings me to one and only one conclusion.
if we follow the trends...
our kids will be listening to bands like MDX. gross. grosssss.
whatev.

ill deal with it.