Sunday, September 27, 2009

Once again I am stuck
S t
of th ou
gh t.
I believe in that.
I told You I would sleep
but here I am,
(I'm sorry about that)
If I had a choice, I would [never] dis[re]connect.

Saturday, September 26, 2009

you caused this, not them.

I'm not gonna beat around the bush.
I got maced today. Hardcore. Here's the story:
Me and my roommate were checking out the campus. Just wanted to see what was going on, what the protests were about, what people were all up in arms about. Today was really just about the cops being ready and kids being angry that the cops were ready. So many complaining about "its the cops fault. if they werent here, the kids would have nothing to see." Wrong! It's YOUR fault for being here. The cops could be here and you can be at home. No big deal. You are here, standing around, organizing unlawfully, End Of Story.
Anyway, we were standing near Schenley Plaza, Hillman side and the recordings started going. "The chief of police has deemed this an unlawful assembly, blah blah, disperse or action will be taken including..." and so on. There was a riot vehicle with an LRAD mounted on it right in front of us and I was PRAYING they would use it just for a few seconds. No such luck. They told us to leave, I was bored so I told them I lived on Craig and asked how I could get there. The response: "It's too late for that." Ha! We went back around Hillman and Lawrence to Forbes by Hems. There was traffic backed up and a row of police at the front. Some kid steps up to the police and rubber bullets started FLYING. They bounced off everything, I was so shocked I didn't get hit on a ricochet. Moral? DON'T STEP UP ON RIOT POLICE. It's their job. They can not be too careful, you know? Totally justified. A lot more of nothing happened.
So. We decide to hit the road, get home. We have to go around UPMC and up the hill towards the Pete to get home. Outrageously out of our way. At this point we are not allowed to sit around and loiter. Understandable. We pass a group of kids doing just that. As we pass them two cops come down the hill and start spraying mace. I'm like no way and I turn around just as a cop comes up behind me and does a big ole sweep with his canister. Direct hit. (My very first thought as I saw that cloud was OMG YES. is that weird?) I didn't think I got it at first I just kept walking and Frank was in front of me walking normally, I thought he was cool too. Three seconds pass and I'm done. My eyes are shut and my face is destroying me haha. Frank too. Somehow amidst opening my eyes for half a second at a time and holding my hands up yelling "I AM JUST TRYING TO GET HOME" we made it a good amount of the way. A few other things happened but I'm not too worried about it.

Hindsight: Awesome experience. I now know what it feels like.

Friday, September 25, 2009

more to do yet and then again i dont know what it is

I feel insane.
(And he came to a door
and he looked inside)
I want to...

Thursday, September 24, 2009

no class

no classes today.
something about
secret service
homeland security
extra police
security checkpoints
world leaders
cathedral of learning.
nationality rooms.
jersey barriers.
portable fences.
black SUVs
assault rifles
the state of the environment
and rain.

Wednesday, September 23, 2009


thats not the word.
what can i tell you?
there's just nothing there.
maybe thats the problem.
there's just nothing.
there's just...
but with life comes

Sunday, September 20, 2009

Sending a Letter

It sits on my desk, stamped and addressed,
waiting to hear your reply. I pace and obsess,
exhausted and stressed, for forgiveness or
a final goodbye.

The thoughts still persist, (although I resist),
what exactly your silence implies. I ball up my fist
at the chaps you have kissed, in response
to my ignorant lies.

My stomach is churning, my tongue is still burning,
as days and then months filter by. Though the thought is concerning,
I think that I’m learning, it may not be
worth it to try.

And so standing, convicted, your ghost is evicted,
I burn up your letter and sigh, no longer afflicted
and just as predicted, I knew you
would never reply.

Saturday, September 19, 2009


I can't. Read. Between. the lines.
Eyes. e yes e yes.
There's a scene in Wild Reeds
that makes it all
stopstopstopstopstopbut i don't want it to
however bad my e yes hurt.
a great word?
none of this agrees with the first line.
Two. Two you.

thoughtless quips that take up space

I've no use for them.

Friday, September 18, 2009

for this evening

i look back i look back
and safe to say i've never known
someone quite like you
a quote? a lyric? perhaps
where am i today?
where was i yesterday?
what do i do now?
(come and watch) i say
i'll sit here now
in the darkdarkdarkdark
perhaps to let the raptures of the quiet
whisper me away.
i am also physically affectedafflicted
by sound. and space.

oh please.

a paper boat with paper sails
a paper man leaves paper trails
begging pardon, bent to knee
i asked him where he'd like to be
far from here! cried twisted face
i'm sick of this awful, godless place
sorry, i say, i don't mean to pry
i'll fully explain! said he to i
abandoned by family, friends and foe
i've nothing to do and nowhere to go
my job is dead end, my theories are shot
my pillow and blanket are all that i've got
unwelcome at church, and hardly awake
i skulk through the day, at night i can't take it
my shirt is torn, my shoes run down
i'm shaking off this dusty town
i'm burning bridges, breaking ties
shedding its empty, soulless lies
now if you will please, its the end of the day
go home and sleep well, i'll be on my own way
i took a step back, and thought for a bit
then calling him back, i won't have it!
pardon my words, i've not known you too long
but it seems to my ears, your words are too strong
you say you're forgotten, that everyone's left you
but i'll say with assurance, these things are untrue
your friends haven't left you, you've left your friends
you want them back, well make amends!
your job has gone nowhere, but haven't you dreams?
everyone feels that way! i screamed,
if church is your place then find a new light
your pillow is there, so use it tonight!
i handed him twenty, said buy some new shoes
i'm here with you now, i won't let you lose.
where are you from, he said, who are you?
let's go, i told him, we've things to do.

Monday, September 14, 2009


nothing's real
what is real?
nothing's real
nothing's real
something is hap.
good things comes to those who?
wait, what is going to happen to me?

and now i can

don't you do this.
you have something else.
something better.
stop right here.
(it'll be over soon)
you haven't the time
you haven't the
sssssstop this

Sunday, September 13, 2009


Take a deep breath.
Close your eyes and just do it.
Dive in. Headfirst.
Don't worry. Don't worry.
What is holding me back?
I've never bothered with it.
It's necessary now and
It's going to be vital.
What do I do?
Where do I start?
I'm afraid
for the last time in my life.


so life is back to this,
smoke turning
lamp burning

(thats new)

nowhere to go
and no one too

nothing noises
and less is true

where are you, (I)

lacking in mind
body intact for the most part
i'll play with breaks

for the time
stamp and forget you


this is fine
where am i, (u)


just to throw it in(s)
i can't LEAVE but

maybe THIS will show you
what i am DEALING with.

vladimir vysotsky

i don't even know how to start.
nothing is to my knowledge and
i guess all i can do is wait
waiting sucks on a deadline.

Friday, September 11, 2009


why is it so bright?
so bright?
why am i being blocked so
why is this?
what is this?
what is tomorrow?
whaaat aaaree youu doing
rrrrrrrrrip it
don't print that.

Wednesday, September 9, 2009

i untitle this

If only you knew
what was coming next...

Sunday, September 6, 2009

you've got it

How can you say its worth your time?
I'm sure you have far better things
to do, far better people to do it
with. I'll take care of it.

Friday, September 4, 2009

glad he ate 'er

A lil bit o blue ne'er did none no harm.
Did it? Didn't it?
Blue. Red. White. Showstopper.
White white white.
One in the morning,
One at night.
Tell me when
You feel alright.
At least I know its a bit better.
We'll see come three.
Burn a stick.
One can't be too soon, can it?
Nor you.

Wednesday, September 2, 2009


This is a sky shark. He and his kin are the second deadliest predators on the face of the earth.

What's first?


Back in the swing.
Nothing to miss.
I'll learn the line,
I'll feign a promise.
Maybe I won't even
lose a friend.