to end the current haiku binge

ill end on a happy note.



zombie zombie dead
zombie zombie zombies rock
zombie zombie no!

WHAT!!

i accidentally threw up the visualizer on itunes.
THEY. CHANGED IT.
its outta my mind.

its seriously ridiculous...


lemme show you a screenshot...



thats real

Circles

98% of the time, ive determined, i draw my circles clockwise.

i wonder why?
water spins clockwise...in our hemisphere.

you know what? dvds spin clockwise.
CLOCKS spin clockwise.

do you suppose in the southern hemisphere dvds spin counterclockwise?
and if they do...would the movies made down under play backwards in a northern made dvd player?

more importantly...

do people who live south of the equator draw their circles counterclockwise?

I can fix that

seems your stuffing's out
those cuts must be pretty deep
but I can fix them

anger

i wish you knew that
you cant convey your feelings
'til you stop screaming

icarus

the way out is up
the sea is unforgiving
please don't fly too high

life

death comes so quickly
summer breeze and dancing seeds
a breath of new life

open water

i swore i'd be home
but the storm caught us off guard
the sea is calm now...

loneliness

oh, you sit so high
away from all those you love
the vulture awaits...

upside down lady

upside down lady,
your umbrella is filling
why don't you come down?

early monday morning

the sun peeks over
as the horizon sleeps fast
stirring up the dew

Jokerit

we leave today.
off to helsinki, finland.

to play Jokerit Helsinki, one of the best teams in SM-Liiga. Then the pens will stroll over to Sweden to blow through two games with the senators. whatev. the senators are old news.

Jokerit will be awesome.

Fans in Helsinki ate up the tickets in less than half an hour. THEY. WANT. HOCKEY.

i cant wait. new season. more experience. and a lineup that now includes a Fed, Satan, and the Cookie Monster.

oh yeah. i am ready.

5:25

i could have sworn. i decided to write this blog and it was only 5. but here i am, close to 5:30, not tired, bored. bored. bored. bored. boreed. bored. boredl. bore.d

what do i do.

what does one do at 5:26 in the morning?

blog, apparently.
and watch The Exorcist II. its been a good night for horror. earlier, i watched the devils rejects. before that part of halloween. before that it was nightmare on elm street.

the other night we watched the serpent and the rainbow.
WATCH. THAT. FILM.
wes craven is amazing. and so are zombies. real life ones in Haiti. thats the real deal. spooky spooky.
not even lying.

5:27.
i mean 5:28.
the structure of this very blog in my mind included no more than three lines.
i should have counted because i know i am well beyond that now.
my blog is long. not this entry, the whole thing in general, right?

i should really shorten the number of posts on the front page. fortunately for the glory of each post...unfortunately for the viewer...i am lazy.
even when theres nothing to do at 5:29am on a saturday morning, i still can't find the time to do something like that.

wow wow wubzy.
watched that the other night. there must have been something in the air. we were CRACKING.UP. it was ridiculous. shocking, really.

5:30. 5:33 according to that clock over there...5:31 now. still 5:33 over there.

time is irrelevant. i feel like...i feel like time is imaginary. made by men as a way to control other men.
5:32.
time can only be measured by instruments created by man, programmed to measure what we want it to.
if i wanted, i could make a clock that took an accepted hour to measure one second.
5:33.
but i suppose i could do that for anything. pounds, money, height, volume.
it's all subjective if you think about it.
5:34.
these minutes are absolutely flying! i promise you 100% i am not stopping typing and im not erasing, save typos. how can i only get one or two sentences in a minute??
this is not promising for time. or is it not promising for me?

its an interesting predicament.
5:35.
i hate this commercial. the new freecreditreport.com thing...with the weird rap-ish song where he has this crazy ridiculous tone in his voice. its so obnoxious.

idk whatev. i guess ill find somethin else to do.

5:36.
still not tired.

Amendment: Punk Binge

after i saw the pic of sid on that last post, i realized that his pants lacked depth.
now, no one can play bass with flat legs, so i needed to change that.
ha.

punk binge part deuce

Punk Binge

The KKK took my baby away


Don't give me no lip, child



whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

Life on Mars (and more importantly, dinosaurs)

went to life on mars again.
saw more of it, but still not all of it.
they gave us these crazy "idea logs"

i drew this.


thats an idea i guess.

serenity and innocence come to mind

I noticed it on a long stretch of sidewalk.
(I do most of my good thinking in transit)
the record player in my head played a familiar song
maybe too familiar...
the record skipped too often,
the needle had worn the groove far too deep
i filled in the gaps with my own notes
sometimes melodic, more often dissonant.
dissonance always made me feel better
the plastic spider ring lay on the concrete
moving towards me in perfect stride.
though it might have been my feet taking steps.
it didn't feel like it.
its not every day you find treasure.

It's the Trees That Make the Horizon

and it's the contrast that makes it worth looking at.

like polaroids.

or sunsets.
or is that because of the colors?

i'm not there.

i have tried, i really have...

often, when people find out i follow soccer they say "oh, who do you like?"
i reply..."MAN U!"
they go like this: -_-
which is natural, i guess...EVERYBODY likes united.
theyre the most successful team in football history...theyre the yankees of soccer. or the canadiens(more recently the red wings).
why don't i like Chelsea? or Liverpool? or Arsenal? why's it have to be in premier league? why don't i like AC Milan or Barcelona?
ive really tried. i don't like being in the majority. being part of the crowd that is so graciously full of so-so fans. people who like a team because of the majesty of the name.
i'm an ocean away from any of these teams. so theoretically, i could choose any team in any league and follow them.
as soon as i see that liverpool shirt on the kid walking by me though...my lip curls as if i just saw a philadelphia flyers jersey.
i just can not like chelsea or arsenal, though ive tried. ive tried to derail my fanship from the most popular sports team in the world.

ive come close, though Tottenham is ruining my life now and better get their butts in gear...they shelled out that cash for Pavyulchenko and he better start producing.

but ManUtd is still my number one.

to the delight of the Jonczaks, of course.


something about them, i guess...

A Tragedy, Really

Yesterday, keyboardist Richard Wright, of Pink Floyd, died of cancer at 65.

Said David Gilmour:

“No one can replace Richard Wright. He was my musical partner and my friend. In the welter of arguments about who or what was Pink Floyd, Rick's enormous input was frequently forgotten. He was gentle, unassuming and private but his soulful voice and playing were vital, magical components of our most recognized Pink Floyd sound.” He later adds, “Like Rick, I don't find it easy to express my feelings in words, but I loved him and will miss him enormously.”

This is a huge deal in music...

he was never at the forefront of the band, but some of the songs he wrote for Floyd include Great Gig in the Sky and Us and Them. the man was a genius.

don't stop here, keep reading.

i've been reluctant to post anything new because i feel like once i do, the old ones pass by unnoticed and forever forgotten.

but the problem is, ive just been getting used to unloading the contents of my mind into virtual space...you know...so my brain doesn't get clogged up or anything.
trying not to post has just clogged my brain with things so i decided to stop.

just promise you won't forget the stuff i wrote before :(
i speak mainly to me.


________________________________________

so here we are.
i thought of typing my favorite part of this entry out...but i realized it steals away the aesthetic value of the night i created it.

this is why i enjoyed the journal so much, i think.
it wasn't just writing out what was in my brain on any given night. it was more. it was showing EXACTLY how i felt. whether or not anyone else can manage to work out everything each entry says, i'll never know. but i can. and thats why i do it. thats why i do this. whatev.



never forget.

[untitled]

walking along a cobblestone path
in the outreach of my mind
I stumbled across a calm and shallow brook
which one could only discern carried memories.
And fish. probably a few of those as well.
I followed it to a willow tree
that I assessed to be as old as me
so I sat beneath it for shade.
there, the ghost of my life as it were
appeared amidst the branches
staring in awe of my life as it is.
it was dark but the moon shone brightly
and in the pale light i may have shaken my head in disgust
more than likely, it was only my imagination.
what did he know anyway?
So I excused myself.
and thanked him for his company.

Irony: The True Story

sometimes i feel like when i post two blogs near the same time, the first one gets kinda ignored. brushed away. like no one pays attention to it...

so im gonna write first, the one i dont wanna dwell on.

irony.

so how bout this:
i have a class.
Japanese Culture Through Cinema. great class. terrible teacher. its all irrelevant, anyway.
Our teacher kinda worked under this other teacher, Keiko McDonald. i mean, come on, she freakin wrote our textbook. (which seems to be the case a lot at Pitt. pitt professors writing our textbooks)... she's a big deal.
this week, we watched a movie, Madadayo. good movie. slow plot, but good nonetheless.

it dealt mainly with the themes of the student/teacher relationship and the acceptance of fate and ultimately death.
we read a whole chapter Keiko wrote on this film and its themes.

we also found out that Keiko died yesterday.



weird? yes. ironic? more so. i literally read the words she wrote on accepting death as a natural part of life HOURS after she had passed away.


and now, finishing this, im forced to look up at the piece which i suppose i call "Life" from my 4x4 project, pinned on my bulletin board. more irony, i think.

We Are the Mods

we are the mods, we are the mods, we are, we are, we are the mods.
we are the mods, we are the mods, we are, we are, we are the mods.
we are the mods, we are the mods, we are, we are, we are the mods.
we are the mods, we are the mods, we are, we are, we are the mods.

A Philosopher's Mind? and more.

another journal entry.





and i guess another one.




i like those ones

undefined.

im not crazy
im not crazy
im not crazy
im not crazy
im not crazy
im not crazy
im not crazy
im not crazy
crazy
insane
creative
what is crazy but creativity to the greatest extent?
im not creative.

Big Brother Watches Me

google maps is awesome. its mesmerizing. its fantastic.
things to note:
the Cathedral of Learning has a dark, luminous cloud above it, when you look at it from street view.
the numbers at CMU are just as amazing from above as they are from inside them.
our house hadn't been sided yet.
gas prices were once below $3.

how did they take those street pictures?

nostalgia?

making that last post made me go back and look at all of them. i loved them. no matter what i did that night, i always found time to do it. even when i worked till 2am. ive tried here, but i couldnt do it. not with all the studying and homework. maybe i should try again. maybe ill post some more someday.

try again?

before i threw chairs pt. II.
excellent, it works...i did a journal in MS Paint.
my only guidelines: one a day, each with a different font. limited to the tools in Paint, and the canvas size remains constant. other than that, free reign.







only 5 this time.
i never meant for people to see these, but apparently im okay with it. whatev.

Lucia di Lammermoor

yeah yeah, i know its science fiction and i know its an alien singing.
doesn't make it any less INCREDIBLE.

the voice behind the character is Inva Mula, performing the "mad scene" from Donizetti's Lucia di Lammermoor, in addition to the Diva Dance, which was made for the film.

GET THIS. APPARENTLYYYY...her voice WAS NOT DIGITALLY ALTERED throughout the performance. im not sure about during the diva dance. that seems like too much, but they did say even though it sounds beyond physical possibility, its not digitally altered at all. idk...



shocking.

led zeppelin live

sometimes i purposely brush across bushes at the side of the sidewalk just to see what they feel like...

sometimes when a sprinkler is spraying over a sidewalk i pretend to avoid it, secretly hoping i get a little wet.

i also really like the feeling you get the second you get on or off an escalator...kinda like weightlessness, except horizontal, rather than vertical.

sometimes i watch led zeppelin live, and its great by the way.

sometimes i walk to the beat of the music playing on my iPod. (or half beat...some songs are very fast)
every other time i walk to the beat of the music in my head.

i watched the wall the other night on vh1. they cut A LOT out. but it was still fantastic.


prem prakash is crazy.

Joni Violet

she lives here:


its a summer home.

save me.

work.
work work work.
workworkworkworkworkworkworkwokrworkwokr.
workworkwowkrworkwrowrowwkowrkowrkworworkwrkworwrk.
work.rowk. rock.rockw. wrowkc. rawk. raw. rawrock.
raw rock.
kills.

finished the reading i had to do.
now i guess i should just...work.

idk. whatev.

we're tryin...

Dictate
What you think is pivotal
Mandate
Just for the sake of
Ego
Controlling your decision making
The world we're missing is still ours for the taking

Accelerate
Into isolation
Gravitate
To comfort, presentation
Anxiety laden, restless confusion
No courage, no confidence, absent delusion

Most of us would be lying
Holding fast to denying
If we
Said we're all feeling swell and content
All of us would be slipping
Backpedaling, gripping
So tight
To our fragile confidence

We're trying
Just to convince
The world we're
Something
That we can't be
We are not
Afraid of
Being alone
Of being caught
By oursselves
With only
Our own thoughts

Activate
With hope and integrity
Honesty
The only true currency
Devastate
The guilt, not the guilty
And I promise a better night's sleep




andrew schwab. blows my mind.

sea creatures and the ocean

i dont like to visit the ocean.
but i do like to think about it.

staying in balance

sometimes my favorite thing in the world is lifting my feet off the floor while sitting on a pivoting chair....just to see if the floor is slightly uneven.

or is it the chair that is uneven?

i wonder if people on pivoting chairs always point north?



theres a pick in my mouth.
1.14mm



won't you be my neighbor?

snails attack.

Mars Attacks
If you havent seen it, i more than recommend it. its great.




the point is this.

i had a dream last night. about giant eagle. you see, me and a few roommates were at giant eagle, doin some shopping. when i went to the register to check out my food, i used a debit card which alerted the cashier that my bank account was in fact over $600 overdrawn. i said this was impossible, i had just checked my account. but apparently it was the case, but as i tried to use the automated telephone banking PNC so graciously offers, my fingers wouldnt really dial what i wanted. giving up, i went out into the area some giant eagles have between the outside sliding doors and the sliding doors to get into the store. like a lobby. but with pop machines instead of couches.
anyway. i packed up my stuff in the lobby (i guess we had planned on sleeping there?) and took it to the car. a jeep. a jeep wrangler. yes, 3 of us, fit in the jeep, with all our gear and groceries. realizing i forgot my bass, along with two other guitars and amps, i went back to collect them, only to discover that an entire group of kids had taken our sleeping quarters for their sleepover. at giant eagle.
i retrieved my equipment and went back out to the car where my roommate was driving wildly all over the parking lot. he stopped to pick me up but before i could get in, he sped off up the hill and around the store, to be chased by 4 or 5 maniacal teens on bicycles and dirtbikes. he stopped and spun around and fled back down the hill and i realized the jeep was an ATV. he flew up the steep hill that had once been the giant eagle entrance and dust and debris surrounded us as he pumped the throttle to get the machine up such an incline. the teens couldnt keep up and he soon stopped dead in front of me to pick me up in the jeep. i packed the music into the jeep (somehow) and was prepared to jump in when a spaceship? <-it looked like a cone shape, but more polygonal...appeared in the sky, only to be blown up. uh oh.
the teens cheered.
i dont remember another one landing, but i do remember a giant snail being in the parking lot. and i remember knowing where it came from. the teens stared at it for awhile and two more snails stepped out from behind the first. not stepped but whatever.
they looked at the teens. then in an instant, long probosces shot out from the snails and consumed the teens. i very quickly hopped in the jeep and off we went.
we went to our house, here in oakland, but apparently our house in oakland is a skyscraper. i dont remember going into the house or the trip to the house for that matter, but i do remember being in my room looking down the long column of windows that was our home. i also remember dozens of 12 foot tall giant pink snails sliming their way up those windows.
i was scared.
my roommate decided to chill in our room, i moved to the next room over, which didnt have outside windows. oddly enough, it DID have a glass window that saw into my room. so after checking the next room after that, which was the other side of the house, and seeing a long proboscis slither into the open window, i slammed the door, went back into the middle room and locked the door behind me.
then i went to the interior (glass) window where i saw another proboscis lean up against the window, break through, and consume my roommate. i slid down with my back to the wall to a seated position, feeling not so much fear, but just willing to wait it out. content. i probably got restless because then i woke up.

warning: not for you.

Plato once said: (for real this time)

"[something] is not being seen because it is a thing seen but on the contrary it is a thing seen because it is being seen; nor is it because it is being led that it is being led but because it is being led that it is something led; nor is something being carried because it is something carried, but it is something carried because it is being carried."

i used the whole quote because i think its important to realize that this concept applies almost universally. in fact, its not the entire quote. plato also explains that something changed is not changed because it is something changed, but rather something is changed because it is changed. he also states that something loved is something loved, not because it is something loved, but because it is loved.

it might seem kinda overwhelming at first, but think about it. something is not loved because it is something loved, but because it is loved by something.

so i wonder if we are who we are because we are who we are, or if we are who we are because we were made who we are.

nature vs. nurture?


i ponder.









ps. i apologize if that bored you or made your head hurt. no i dont apologize. its not like i didnt warn you.
curiosity

maybe ill visit

i was looking at my myspace blog which i've regretfully neglected (although with notice) in favor of this location here. i came across this.



i love that picture. maybe because it was a mistake. so mistakes are loved too, eh?