Once again I am stuck

I...you...

S t

r

e

a

m

of th ou

gh t.

I believe in that.

raw

raw.

I told You I would sleep

but here I am,

(I'm sorry about that)

If I had a choice, I would [never] dis[re]connect.

Or...

you caused this, not them.

I'm not gonna beat around the bush.

I got maced today. Hardcore. Here's the story:

Me and my roommate were checking out the campus. Just wanted to see what was going on, what the protests were about, what people were all up in arms about. Today was really just about the cops being ready and kids being angry that the cops were ready. So many complaining about "its the cops fault. if they werent here, the kids would have nothing to see." Wrong! It's YOUR fault for being here. The cops could be here and you can be at home. No big deal. You are here, standing around, organizing unlawfully, End Of Story.

Anyway, we were standing near Schenley Plaza, Hillman side and the recordings started going. "The chief of police has deemed this an unlawful assembly, blah blah, disperse or action will be taken including..." and so on. There was a riot vehicle with an LRAD mounted on it right in front of us and I was PRAYING they would use it just for a few seconds. No such luck. They told us to leave, I was bored so I told them I lived on Craig and asked how I could get there. The response: "It's too late for that." Ha! We went back around Hillman and Lawrence to Forbes by Hems. There was traffic backed up and a row of police at the front. Some kid steps up to the police and rubber bullets started FLYING. They bounced off everything, I was so shocked I didn't get hit on a ricochet. Moral? DON'T STEP UP ON RIOT POLICE. It's their job. They can not be too careful, you know? Totally justified. A lot more of nothing happened.

So. We decide to hit the road, get home. We have to go around UPMC and up the hill towards the Pete to get home. Outrageously out of our way. At this point we are not allowed to sit around and loiter. Understandable. We pass a group of kids doing just that. As we pass them two cops come down the hill and start spraying mace. I'm like no way and I turn around just as a cop comes up behind me and does a big ole sweep with his canister. Direct hit. (My very first thought as I saw that cloud was OMG YES. is that weird?) I didn't think I got it at first I just kept walking and Frank was in front of me walking normally, I thought he was cool too. Three seconds pass and I'm done. My eyes are shut and my face is destroying me haha. Frank too. Somehow amidst opening my eyes for half a second at a time and holding my hands up yelling "I AM JUST TRYING TO GET HOME" we made it a good amount of the way. A few other things happened but I'm not too worried about it.

Hindsight: Awesome experience. I now know what it feels like.

more to do yet and then again i dont know what it is

I feel insane.

Traa..p

(And he came to a door

and he looked inside)

I want to...

no class

no classes today.

something about

secret service

homeland security

extra police

security checkpoints

world leaders

phipps.

cathedral of learning.

nationality rooms.

jersey barriers.

portable fences.

black SUVs

assault rifles

economics

the state of the environment

and rain.

fff

FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF

falling.

thats not the word.

what can i tell you?

there's just nothing there.

maybe thats the problem.

there's just nothing.

there's just...

(lllife)

but with life comes

Sending a Letter

It sits on my desk, stamped and addressed,
waiting to hear your reply. I pace and obsess,
exhausted and stressed, for forgiveness or
a final goodbye.

The thoughts still persist, (although I resist),
what exactly your silence implies. I ball up my fist
at the chaps you have kissed, in response
to my ignorant lies.

My stomach is churning, my tongue is still burning,
as days and then months filter by. Though the thought is concerning,
I think that I’m learning, it may not be
worth it to try.

And so standing, convicted, your ghost is evicted,
I burn up your letter and sigh, no longer afflicted
and just as predicted, I knew you
would never reply.

fotont

I can't. Read. Between. the lines.
Eyes. e yes e yes.
There's a scene in Wild Reeds
that makes it all
FFFF
. LLLLL
.. OOOOOOO
... OOOOOOOOO
.... DDDDDDDDDDDD
back.
stopstopstopstopstopbut i don't want it to
however bad my e yes hurt.
a great word?
sleeplessnessssssssssss
none of this agrees with the first line.
Two. Two you.

thoughtless quips that take up space

I've no use for them.

for this evening

i look back i look back

and safe to say i've never known

someone quite like you

a quote? a lyric? perhaps

where am i today?

where was i yesterday?

what do i do now?

next?

then?

when?

(come and watch) i say

i'll sit here now

desssssssperrrrrrr

atelllllllly

in the darkdarkdarkdark

perhaps to let the raptures of the quiet

whisper me away.

i am also physically affectedafflicted

by sound. and space.

oh please.

a paper boat with paper sails

a paper man leaves paper trails

begging pardon, bent to knee

i asked him where he'd like to be

far from here! cried twisted face

i'm sick of this awful, godless place

sorry, i say, i don't mean to pry

i'll fully explain! said he to i

abandoned by family, friends and foe

i've nothing to do and nowhere to go

my job is dead end, my theories are shot
my pillow and blanket are all that i've got

unwelcome at church, and hardly awake

i skulk through the day, at night i can't take it

my shirt is torn, my shoes run down

i'm shaking off this dusty town

i'm burning bridges, breaking ties

shedding its empty, soulless lies

now if you will please, its the end of the day

go home and sleep well, i'll be on my own way

i took a step back, and thought for a bit

then calling him back, i won't have it!

pardon my words, i've not known you too long

but it seems to my ears, your words are too strong

you say you're forgotten, that everyone's left you

but i'll say with assurance, these things are untrue

your friends haven't left you, you've left your friends

you want them back, well make amends!

your job has gone nowhere, but haven't you dreams?

everyone feels that way! i screamed,

if church is your place then find a new light

your pillow is there, so use it tonight!

i handed him twenty, said buy some new shoes

i'm here with you now, i won't let you lose.

where are you from, he said, who are you?

let's go, i told him, we've things to do.

dddddd

nothing's real

what is real?

nothing's real

nothing's real

something is hap.

good things comes to those who?

wait, what is going to happen to me?

and now i can

don't you do this.

you have something else.

something better.

important.

stop right here.

(it'll be over soon)

you haven't the time

you haven't the

time

you

sssssstop this

(almost)

jjjjjuussst....

ssst

WHO

Take a deep breath.

(Inhale.)

Close your eyes and just do it.

Dive in. Headfirst.

Don't worry. Don't worry.

What is holding me back?

Form.

Form.

Form.

Form.

I've never bothered with it.

It's necessary now and

It's going to be vital.

What do I do?

Where do I start?

I'm afraid

for the last time in my life.

timestamp

so life is back to this,

smoke turning

lamp burning

(thats new)

nowhere to go

and no one too

nothing noises

and less is true

where are you, (I)

lacking in mind

body intact for the most part

i'll play with breaks

for the time

stamp and forget you

NOTICE

this is fine

where am i, (u)

a-e-o-ns

why?

just to throw it in(s)

i can't LEAVE but

no.one.is.in.here.

maybe THIS will show you

what i am DEALING with.

vladimir vysotsky

i don't even know how to start.

anything.

nothing is to my knowledge and

i guess all i can do is wait

waiting sucks on a deadline.

comissar

why is it so bright?

so bright?

why am i being blocked so

INCESSANTLY.

why is this?

what is this?

what is tomorrow?

whaaat aaaree youu doing

rrrrrrrrrip it

r-a-i-s-e

don't.

be.

don't print that.

g-d.

i untitle this

If only you knew

what was coming next...

you've got it

How can you say its worth your time?
I'm sure you have far better things
to do, far better people to do it
with. I'll take care of it.

glad he ate 'er

A lil bit o blue ne'er did none no harm.

Did it? Didn't it?

THE ANSWER TO EVERYONE.

Blue. Red. White. Showstopper.

White white white.

One in the morning,

One at night.

Tell me when

You feel alright.

At least I know its a bit better.

Now.

We'll see come three.

Burn a stick.

One can't be too soon, can it?

Nor you.

whooaaa

This is a sky shark. He and his kin are the second deadliest predators on the face of the earth.

What's first?

THIS!

focus

Back in the swing.

Nothing to miss.

I'll learn the line,

I'll feign a promise.

Maybe I won't even

lose a friend.