Shut Up, I'm Tired

My home is set up so that directly across the short hallway outside my door which leads down the stairs, an open door peeks into an empty room, perpetually dark and used primarily for storage. Ordinarily, I'll exit my bedroom, glance into the oversized storage closet and upon seeing the normal stillness, turn my attention to the stairs and make my descent. This day was different. My timely glance caught a flash of movement, ducking from view just as my eyes focused in the dark. Curiosity perked, I cautiously crossed the hall to the cracked door at the rarely traversed far side. I nudged my hand against the door, intending on a slow and stealthy breach but instead sounding the telling trumpets of creaking hinges. Wincing at the sudden noise, I peeked around the door frame into the abysmal room. The room was the largest in the house, why hadn't I used this as my bedroom and the other for storage? In any case, the room was still. Turning to leave, I heard the crash of an overturned packing crate filled with old Rolling Stone magazines. Jerking my head back into the room I saw the culprit. Rather, I saw the back end of the culprit. Rushing over, I grabbed the perpetrator by the ankle, lifting it high into the air, in front of my face. What I held was a short creature, who stood no more than knee high, with skinny appendages and knobby knees and elbows. His (and I reluctantly admit that I do in fact know for certain it was a he) ribs shown clearly and his belly was indented greatly. His faced resembled that of a reptile but with a more pronounced beak with sharp features. His skin was a burnt crimson shade and almost crisp to the touch. Two tiny horns protruded from his cranium and small beady eyes stared at me in contempt. As I held the demon upside down by the ankle, he crossed his arms and turned his head away in disgust.
Not being a man explicitly trained in the exorcism of demons, I resorted to a good old-fashioned tongue lashing.
"What are you doing here demon?!" I shouted.
-I came here-
"And don't you give me that shifty language I know you use," I interrupted.
-I'm here for your soul.
"MY SOUL?! Demon you are in the wrong place for soul searching."
-My name is-
"I don't care for your name demon, I'll call you as I please. As I was saying. My soul is not for sale."
-My business is not in trade, sir, but in collection. Your soul has already been purchased.
"Impossible, demon, a soul can only be purchased from its owner and as I had never sold it in the first place, I can assure you, the ownership is still my own."
-If you would just free me, I can present you with the contract to be carried out.
Now being a man of law, the demon's proposition rang with an idea in my own mind. I began speaking more softly to the creature of Hell.
"Show me the contract now, demon, and I'll ensure it of its authenticity, for as you may know, I am an authorized notary."
-If you free me-
"Show me the contract, demon, and I will release you to carry out your duty."
The demon pointed to the wall behind me and I turned, and in a flash of fire and smoke, a written contract appeared pinned to the wall. Holding the demon behind my back, I drew a pen and scribbled across the bottom of the smoldering paper.
"Uh huh, yep, indeed," I mumbled to myself, though mostly in theatrics for the benefit of the demon. "Alright, I suppose you are correct, demon. I apologize for my reluctance."
Dropping the demon to the floor, he scurried in front of me, quickly snatching the parchment from the wall.
-Now then, if you'll kindly-
"Just one moment demon, I just realized a flaw in your protocol," I snapped back, "if you'll please refer to Part III of the very contract in your hand under Clause IV, part ii, paragraph one, you'll see that this contract is nullified in the oddly specific event that the collectee is apprehended by the left ankle in an act of clumsiness on his own part. According to paragraph two, upon release of said collectee, the collected is pronounced free and the collectee and all associated are barred from further contact with the party freed without question."
The demon uttered a few sounds of disbelief and traced the contract with his finger several times over. As he did so, thin lines of smoke began rising from his joints.
-Impossible he said. As he read on, dust and ash began falling from his body. The ash collected in a pile on the floor as the demon disintegrated in front of my eyes. Soon, the contract caught fire and burned into ash, along with the demon.
Pleased, I collected a broom and dustpan, swept up the remaining ash, and tossed it from my window. I went back to my room, shut the door, and went to sleep.