Sending a Letter

It sits on my desk, stamped and addressed,
waiting to hear your reply. I pace and obsess,
exhausted and stressed, for forgiveness or
a final goodbye.

The thoughts still persist, (although I resist),
what exactly your silence implies. I ball up my fist
at the chaps you have kissed, in response
to my ignorant lies.

My stomach is churning, my tongue is still burning,
as days and then months filter by. Though the thought is concerning,
I think that I’m learning, it may not be
worth it to try.

And so standing, convicted, your ghost is evicted,
I burn up your letter and sigh, no longer afflicted
and just as predicted, I knew you
would never reply.

fotont

I can't. Read. Between. the lines.
Eyes. e yes e yes.
There's a scene in Wild Reeds
that makes it all
FFFF
. LLLLL
.. OOOOOOO
... OOOOOOOOO
.... DDDDDDDDDDDD
back.
stopstopstopstopstopbut i don't want it to
however bad my e yes hurt.
a great word?
sleeplessnessssssssssss
none of this agrees with the first line.
Two. Two you.

thoughtless quips that take up space

I've no use for them.

for this evening

i look back i look back

and safe to say i've never known

someone quite like you

a quote? a lyric? perhaps

where am i today?

where was i yesterday?

what do i do now?

next?

then?

when?

(come and watch) i say

i'll sit here now

desssssssperrrrrrr

atelllllllly

in the darkdarkdarkdark

perhaps to let the raptures of the quiet

whisper me away.

i am also physically affectedafflicted

by sound. and space.

oh please.

a paper boat with paper sails

a paper man leaves paper trails

begging pardon, bent to knee

i asked him where he'd like to be

far from here! cried twisted face

i'm sick of this awful, godless place

sorry, i say, i don't mean to pry

i'll fully explain! said he to i

abandoned by family, friends and foe

i've nothing to do and nowhere to go

my job is dead end, my theories are shot
my pillow and blanket are all that i've got

unwelcome at church, and hardly awake

i skulk through the day, at night i can't take it

my shirt is torn, my shoes run down

i'm shaking off this dusty town

i'm burning bridges, breaking ties

shedding its empty, soulless lies

now if you will please, its the end of the day

go home and sleep well, i'll be on my own way

i took a step back, and thought for a bit

then calling him back, i won't have it!

pardon my words, i've not known you too long

but it seems to my ears, your words are too strong

you say you're forgotten, that everyone's left you

but i'll say with assurance, these things are untrue

your friends haven't left you, you've left your friends

you want them back, well make amends!

your job has gone nowhere, but haven't you dreams?

everyone feels that way! i screamed,

if church is your place then find a new light

your pillow is there, so use it tonight!

i handed him twenty, said buy some new shoes

i'm here with you now, i won't let you lose.

where are you from, he said, who are you?

let's go, i told him, we've things to do.

dddddd

nothing's real

what is real?

nothing's real

nothing's real

something is hap.

good things comes to those who?

wait, what is going to happen to me?

and now i can

don't you do this.

you have something else.

something better.

important.

stop right here.

(it'll be over soon)

you haven't the time

you haven't the

time

you

sssssstop this

(almost)

jjjjjuussst....

ssst

WHO

Take a deep breath.

(Inhale.)

Close your eyes and just do it.

Dive in. Headfirst.

Don't worry. Don't worry.

What is holding me back?

Form.

Form.

Form.

Form.

I've never bothered with it.

It's necessary now and

It's going to be vital.

What do I do?

Where do I start?

I'm afraid

for the last time in my life.

timestamp

so life is back to this,

smoke turning

lamp burning

(thats new)

nowhere to go

and no one too

nothing noises

and less is true

where are you, (I)

lacking in mind

body intact for the most part

i'll play with breaks

for the time

stamp and forget you

NOTICE

this is fine

where am i, (u)

a-e-o-ns

why?

just to throw it in(s)

i can't LEAVE but

no.one.is.in.here.

maybe THIS will show you

what i am DEALING with.

vladimir vysotsky

i don't even know how to start.

anything.

nothing is to my knowledge and

i guess all i can do is wait

waiting sucks on a deadline.

comissar

why is it so bright?

so bright?

why am i being blocked so

INCESSANTLY.

why is this?

what is this?

what is tomorrow?

whaaat aaaree youu doing

rrrrrrrrrip it

r-a-i-s-e

don't.

be.

don't print that.

g-d.

i untitle this

If only you knew

what was coming next...

you've got it

How can you say its worth your time?
I'm sure you have far better things
to do, far better people to do it
with. I'll take care of it.

glad he ate 'er

A lil bit o blue ne'er did none no harm.

Did it? Didn't it?

THE ANSWER TO EVERYONE.

Blue. Red. White. Showstopper.

White white white.

One in the morning,

One at night.

Tell me when

You feel alright.

At least I know its a bit better.

Now.

We'll see come three.

Burn a stick.

One can't be too soon, can it?

Nor you.

whooaaa

This is a sky shark. He and his kin are the second deadliest predators on the face of the earth.

What's first?

THIS!

focus

Back in the swing.

Nothing to miss.

I'll learn the line,

I'll feign a promise.

Maybe I won't even

lose a friend.

on the sun

There's still some pennies mucking about but nothing else.

A lot of dark, and I forgot about that but I suppose I didn't.

What really gets me is the serenity.

I expected that.

I didn't expect the insanity.

I can only hope for something of that nature.

And a roof.

On the sun on the sun on the sun on the sun.

see how they run

and i welcome back the fantastical!

a promise i can make

you'll never know which is me and which is he

which is we and we are all together

but isn't that just more fun?

slide

overhead, a motor spins the blades

the slipping sound of my sssanity

and so here i am

remember that thing i said?

coming?

mhm.

I respond line for line

SammiTammiUammiVammiWammiXammi.
Love.
I forgive you, my dear.
You have indeed.
And I miss you
so (etc.)
very much.
It seems you are though,
yes.
Not nearly like you.
Sometimes many people say that
but its what I do.
Sometimes...
that is impossible.
So many people do, I hear.
Yes.
Everything and nothing.
Art.
I don't worry about such things.
Art. And sometimes friends.
The world and its pleasures.
Reality is a relative existence that has no meaning but to the beholder.
I adore you.
Likely an eagle, king of the skies and free above all other creatures.
I love big thoughts.

If

only I knew
who I was you
if you were me
if we were we
then it would...
then it would.

forget

Perhaps it is stress that does it, but its coming.
Or maybe it's the distance of the earth from the sun.
It's got it's ups and downs, I suppose.

i spread my arms

there are times when i realize i've lost touch with someone.
usually in those moments i figure they won't care to get in touch with me.
i hope its not true.
or awkward.

awake

To color them night.
Wooden faces seek look left. Day of Resurrection.
Wood wood wood not stone.
But still. Not still in the least.
Wait. Disconnected arms of oak branching out.
G man pushing pulling stone walls stone blocks building stone wall.
Face chant.
Push pull wall.
Door behind wall and separate.
One side separation from past.
Other, separation from us.
I imagine...

In further news,

There is a smudge on the window that resembles a lion of medieval design. Its head faces down and its mouth is open, waiting to devour any robber that attempts to take the long route up a ladder on an already sloping incline, to the second story to break in through an upstairs window. He'd be stupid to break in like that...there's a lion in that window...

In other news,

If the colors were harvest gold, oak, and sunlight, the dream would involve man-sized lizards in the front of an old church, clawing open a giant sandwich cracker and licking out the insides. The man in the front would continually reiterate his "eat your fill" message and the lizards would comply. It's unclear whether the lizards would have human faces but they would be easily recognizable as us.

and yet again

I've thought of another thing.
This is all about the colors of music though. I can't forget this one.

20 Ghosts III

choice of words

I had a dream that culminated in a third person view in a mirror of a person gouging out their own eye with a pick axe. The lady was telling him to.
Key colors included black, blue-grey, and rust.

I realize now

We are all in the midst of a revolution.
And thank God we are.